Landmines For Clowns (2nd Album)

by The Red Pills

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    CD Edition of our second album Landmines For Clowns. Contains:

    CD1 - album with 2 bonus tracks not available for download.

    Comes in a CD wallet slipcase with a 12 page printed lyrics booklet. Artwork by Sarah Webb.

    Fiddle on track 14 - Robin Timmis

    Includes unlimited streaming of Landmines For Clowns (2nd Album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Scare the shit out of your mates!

    Gildan Softstyle Ringspun, 100% cotton. 2 colours on White T-shirt. Sizes ranging from Small to 2XL.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 25 

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  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Show those corporate rinsepricks the finger!

    Gildan Softstyle Ringspun, 100% cotton. 1 colour on Black T-shirt. Sizes ranging from Small to 2XL.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 50 

      £5 GBP or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 5 The Red Pills releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Landmines For Clowns (2nd Album), Northern Rock (1st Album), What's Harriet Got? - FREE EP, Missiles: 7 track EP, and Awakening: 6 track EP. , and , .

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1.
One leads to atrophy, one to salvation The beautiful addiction of ruination It's hard to be right if you don't have the patience So pander to selfish, slothlike wasters YOU'RE ALL RIGHT JACK, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT WHEN EVERYTHING'S COMFY WHY BOTHER TO FIGHT? YOU'RE ALL RIGHT JACK, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT GOOD PEOPLE GET HURT BUT YOU'VE GOT A NICE LIFE (A NICE LIFE) Inventing stories, tell the world porkies Malicious rumours for a blacklisting sortie Selfish performance to win hearts and minds The virtuous slandered and then ostracised YOU'RE ALL RIGHT JACK, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT WHEN EVERYTHING'S COMFY WHY BOTHER TO FIGHT? YOU'RE ALL RIGHT JACK, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT GOOD PEOPLE GET HURT BUT YOU'VE GOT A NICE... Life’s lying in the lap of luxury Facilitating social butchery Keeping some unpleasant company I’m glad that crutch is not enough for me CHORUS x1 RIGHT JACK?!
2.
PR Cliff 03:38
Papa Razzo Pigeons Roosting Pitiless Rapist Paedo Register Posing Roman Pervert Ravenous Penetrative Rumours Pecker Revelation WHAT’S THAT CLIFF? “SHE COULD NOT HAVE SEEN IT” COUNSEL ADMITS “HIS IS AN AVERAGE PENIS” Pompous Rodent Penchant Rumbled Police Report Penitent Reality Prison Rumpy Penal Rogering Piggy Rodeo Painful Ringpiece CHORUS x1 What’s that Cliff? x2 What’s that Cliff (counsel admits) x2 It’s an average penis baby! What’s that Cliff? (counsel admits) She could not have seen it Counsel admits (what’s that Cliff?) His is an average penis (Repeat x2) Just an average penis baby! Oh my God he’s so fucking average! Itsa me, Maaario.
3.
The cash you make, the risk you take when in the public eye The contracts lost, the rising cost impacts upon your life The tabloids found an angle The trappings of a scandal The dirty washing’s hung out on the line THEY’VE MADE YOU TWITCHY THEY’VE STAINED YOUR THOUGHT THEY’RE EATING ALL YOUR TISSUES AS YOU... THEY’VE MADE YOU UGLY THEY’VE WORN YOU THIN THEY’VE STOLEN ALL THE COLOUR FROM YOUR... SKIN The gossip mags, are keeping tabs so they can rub it in The columnists, are working shifts to bury you with spin The cops just caught your lover Helping you to suffer The shaking hollow craving for a line THEY’VE MADE YOU TWITCHY THEY’VE STAINED YOUR THOUGHT THEY’RE EATING ALL YOUR TISSUES AS YOU... THEY’VE MADE YOU UGLY THEY’VE WORN YOU THIN THEY’VE STOLEN ALL THE COLOUR FROM YOUR... A public statement’s no good This time it goes deeper You knew that it was wrong but It took a story to free you Checked into a clinic Which pale shreds to salvage? You’ve destroyed your image Time to stop the carnage They have you pegged a waster Willpower thin as paper It’s up to you to show you’ve drawn a line Drawn a line A line Line CHORUS x1
4.
ClockWork 02:50
It sounds like a clock, trying to sing Escaping its own, tick-tock origins Chimes with a deep organic yearning Longs to be gloried, riotous skin This clock’s envious of all of your limbs The way that you jive, you groove and you swing Mantelpiece mambo, nearly within Reach of a rigid, rotary thing CLOCKING OFF SIR DON’T LIVE TO WORK ONE OBJECTIVE ONLY WORK TO LIVE This clock’s kicking off a shimmering spring Grandfather’s hands and face in a spin Pendulum powers these hours unhinged Drunk on a dizzy, deviant din This clock’s calling all congenial kin Mute all your morbid metronomin’ And dance to your own peculiar whims Uproarious time’s about to begin CHORUS x2
5.
A destructive mist, descends when you’re pissed Riddled with misguided rage Testosterone channels, itself to your fists You say “I can’t help how I’m made” Regressive you lose, your brain to the booze Degenerate pond scum stew We’re broadcasting through, your primordial ooze And we’ve got a message for you... OI! OI! WHAT A. WHAT A. WANKER! x2 Contribute nothing, and you deserve nought Tear everything down and be torn All the macho posture, and bravado Is a dead end of evolution Who can support this unquestioning thought? This prehistoric resort? Yet good news is brought, we’re pleased to report Stupidity cannot be caught... OI! OI! WHAT A. WHAT A. WANKER! x3 WHAT A. KNUCKLE. DRAGGER! So you were formed with a cock when you spawned? That’s no reason not to behave You think with your balls, it’s like you’ve only just crawled Out of your fucking cave Still you retreat, into blind thuggery Cos that was your father’s disease A Darwinist dreams you’ll slide back into the seas For the good of the whole species... OI! OI! WHAT A. WHAT A. WANKER! x3 WHAT A. KNUCKLE. DRAGGER! Hey, who the hell are you? I’m Ronnie Pickering Who? Ronnie Pickering Who the fuck’s that? Me. I’m Ronnie Pickering! What were all that about, you cunt? D’you know who I am? x2 I’m Ronnie Pickering!
6.
Vibrant room, a figure enters Captivated by a teenage temptress Still unburdened, shy and slender Absent mask, her joy uncensored HERE IN THE EYE, TIME TO DECIDE MAYBE A LIGHTER SHADE OF GREY CHOOSING THE WHITE, REQUEST IS DENIED AND THIS CONSCIENCE SAVED To be trophy or collector? The line is fine for self-lecture Premonition seeds conjecture Fading halos for the restless HERE IN THIS TRACT, ALL INEXACT TURNING A DARKER SHADE OF GREY CHOOSING THE BLACK MIGHT END IN THE SACK WHICH THE ID WILL TAKE Every threshold is affected When a thrust is just deflected Although hurt was not intended It has direct consequences The devil and the angel, atop two shoulders The devil talking louder, the angel growing older x4 Growin’ older Growin’ older, grow-growin’ older x4
7.
Take an aristo, show him a vision No birthright here but still ambition We know we’re low on your list to consider But jewels lay in the grime of the midden Ten year olds resplendent in rubble Unaware they’re groomed to smuggle Their innocence held in a bubble Burst by gang war and drug struggles THE FORTRESS-FRONTED SHOPS ARE SHUTTERED A MAN IS CHASED BY A GANG OF NUTTERS EVERY NIGHT THERE’S SEX IN THE GUTTER IT’S OUT OF YOUR WORLD AND INTO ANOTHER On the shiny streets, girls all huddle Cameltoes reflect in puddles The night’s young, they’re unsubtle: Sell their flesh but dream of cuddles THE FORTRESS-FRONTED SHOPS ARE SHUTTERED A MAN IS CHASED BY A GANG OF NUTTERS EVERY NIGHT THERE’S SEX IN THE GUTTER IT’S OUT OF YOUR WORLD AND INTO... Tonight, tonight, tonight you’ve seen a different side Tonight, tonight, tonight you’ll bridge the great divide Nights end in sleaze or a cheeseburger Chuck up and leave with a scrubber Two bed-ridden days to recover Far cry from your polite supper THE FORTRESS-FRONTED SHOPS ARE SHUTTERED A MAN ESCAPES FROM A GANG OF NUTTERS EVERY NIGHT THERE’S SEX IN THE GUTTER IT’S OUT OF YOUR WORLD AND INTO ANOTHER
8.
1989: Utilities for sale! Five years later, bye bye British Rail Now all my friends can own a piece of Royal Mail NHS is next, carve up the Holy Grail MAGGIE THATCHER’S COMIN’ ATCHA FROM THE GRAVE RESURRECTED BY THE TORY BOYS WHO CHERISH HER NAME MAGGIE THATCHER’S COMIN’ BACK FROM THE ABYSS THEY WANNA PRIVATISE EVERYTHING... Why not privatise our oxygen supply? May as well exploit the very light that shines into these eyes Every time we pick a string, or open our mouths to sing One of her disciples goes ‘KERCHING!’ MAGGIE THATCHER’S COMIN’ ATCHA FROM THE GRAVE RESURRECTED BY THE TORY BOYS WHO CHERISH HER NAME MAGGIE THATCHER’S SCRATCHIN’ SCRIPTURE IN HER CRYPT THEY’RE GONNA PRIVATISE EVERYTHING... WELL PRIVATISE THIS! Privatise everything! KERCHING! Privatise everything! KERCHING! BUT MAGGIE THATCHER’S NECROMANCERS PERSIST CADAVERS NOW COMMAND THE FORCES OF THE NECROPOLIS MAGGIE THATCHER’S DAMNED DEMAND AN EXORCIST THEY WANNA PRIVATISE EVERYTHING... WELL PRIVATISE THIS! PRIVATISE THIS! PRIVATISE THIS! PRIVATISE THIS! They’ll privatise me (me!) They’ll privatise you (you!) Come on you motherfuckers, privatise this!
9.
Congress in City Hall Stroking white elephants Who’s got the biggest balls? Bickering sycophants! We thrust our taxes At fiddling buffoons To swell their helmets End up getting screwed YOU BUMMED THIS CITY IT’S A TWITCHING ORIFICE NOW CRAM IT WITH PHALLIC MONSTROSITIES Bukkake architects Reach for backhanders When withered pomp erects From flaccid grandeur We’re impregnated By crusty lifeless pricks When dregs are mated Oh for a prophylactic CHORUS x1 Mirror mirror, in a pool Which is the most impressive tool That seeded bastard shopping centre? Birth joy’s over – eat placenta! Eat placenta x3 Eat it!
10.
Glory to the holy box Prostrate and never turn it off Worship it night and day The Oracle you venerate Delivers us a fulsome life Originality’s deprived In scanning lines divine Be televangelised GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER I CAN TELL THAT YOU WANNA (WANNA) Abundant egos it allures Whispers to the insecure ‘Come and be a celebrity’ ‘Find immortality’ Promise status, fortune, fame Artificially elevate Media mediocrity Blink and you’ll miss ‘em deities CHORUS x1 GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER JUST OBEY THE GOD IN THE CORNER I CAN TELL THAT YOU WANNA (WANNA)
11.
Baby you’re quick, baby you’re scheming Confidence tricks, you’ve been playing What you inflict, is degrading Taking your pick, then betraying Baby your wrist, lately is gleaming You give a kiss, you get a new ring It’s in the script, you’ll be leaving Soon as the kicks, fade to nothing READ IT IN THE PAPERS (x3) YOU ONLY SHAGGED HIM COS HE’S FAMOUS FAMOUS. FAMOUS. YOU ONLY SHAGGED HIM! Baby you’re bold, baby you’re shameless Baby your promises are heinous Selling your soul, in cheap containers Eyes on the goal, fuck retainer CHORUS x1 Baby you’re shamed, now you’re retreating We’ve ascertained, you’re in sheep’s clothing Image is stained, public loathing Shadows your name, when it’s spoken READ IT IN THE PAPERS, YOU’RE A PRETTY FAKER READ IT IN THE PAPERS, YOU’RE A MONEY GRABBER READ IT IN THE PAPERS, READ IT IN THE PAPERS READ IT IN THE PAPERS, YOU ONLY SHAGGED HIM COS HE’S FAMOUS FAMOUS. FAMOUS. YOU ONLY SHAGGED HIM!
12.
Twenty-first century In the land of plenty Getting fat and empty Idolise the gentry Slaves to celeb fashion Raised to covet fame Life becomes transaction We’ll play the Joneses game ARE YOU A MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL? MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL x2 Music’s homogeny Insipid copy culture Is a rebel death knell Simon’s Machiavellia Endemic amorality In football’s glamour whores There are no working class Heroes anymore ARE YOU A MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL? MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL x2 ARE YOU A MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL? MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL x2 My granddad fought in the war you know And he didn’t do it so You could spend a thousand pounds On a bag, by Galliano MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S GIRL x5 MUMMY’S BOY, DADDY’S, DADDY’S GIRL Show some fucking social responsibility!
13.
Little girls, made up in, a beauty pageant Mimicked flirtations a, frightening tangent Moulding these, starlets with, narcissist’s ease Destroy our, daughters when, pursuing this greed INFLUENCE FAULT, DIRECTIONLESS SPONGES PARENTAL ASSAULT WITH UNCONTROLLED URGES FROM TRUSTED TONGUES, COMPLIANCE INVEIGLED AGED PREMATURELY, ENTICED FROM THEIR CRADLES Prostitute, eight year olds, to the nation Celebrate, vicarious, violation Inherit, disorder, from relations Adulthood: scars showing, exploitation CHORUS x1 Psychology, fragile and, ever so tainted Never to, reconcile, youth’s labour wasted Burdens all, residing in, their ageless prison Unwilling, to talk and, reluctant to listen AXIOLOGY OF IDEOLOGY IDEOLOGY IN PATHOLOGY PATHOLOGY OF BIOLOGY BIOLOGY AS AN APOLOGY-EY AS AN APOLOGY-EY x3 AS AN APOLOGY EY-EY-EY-EY-EY x4 EY-EY-EY-EY!

about

13 tracks worth of funk, punk, rock 'n' roll goodness. Celebrity trash sighted... mines laid... BOOM!

All music and lyrics by The Red Pills
Produced by Nick Shakhlevich
Physical drum setup very kindly doctored by Mike Hampton

Vox - Captain Mayhem
Guitar - Major Two Scoops
Bass - Colonel D. Bugger
Drums - General Ignorance

credits

released April 29, 2016

Captain Mayhem, Major Layoff, Colonel D. Bugger, General Ignorance, Mr. Bag.

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The Red Pills Leeds, UK

The Red Pills took their name from the 1999 movie 'The Matrix.' In one scene, Keanu Reeves' character 'Neo' is presented with a choice of pills to ingest; a red pill or a blue pill. Each is a metaphor - taking the blue pill will allow Neo to continue to live a cosy, comfortable lie. Taking the red pill will allow him to wake up to the truth. ... more

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